Hi guys!
Okay, so firstly I want to apologise for all of the really late updates. Uni has been extremely hectic lately, I'm a med student and we are usually in most days from 9-5 and on top of that I've really been lagging behind with my notes this year.
So *deep breaths* *don't throw chappals and tamatars at me* I am putting all of my FFs on hold till the 27th of April (which is when I finish my exams).
So till then, I'm extremely sorry but as you will all hopefully understand, as much as I would love to continue to update, my mind right now is completely occupied with the amount of work that I have to get through.
Now once I come back, there will be slight changes.
1. Paper Roses will probably be moved to its blog.
The reason for this is, I have recently found out that derogatory language like "f***" and "s***" can only be used once in an update. The language is part of the characters so in order that I not compromise this, it will be taken off and left on its blog.
Don't worry though, as with SOSD I don't make my blogs private so if you don't already have the link, you'll just have to PM me for it.
2. The ASR-KKG Files will have updates again. I've neglected this FF for months now, so yes it'll finally begin to get updates.
3. SOSD is nearing it's end ;). I have it all planned out and it will end in *fingers crossed* exactly 50 chapters.
4.... But no worries, for those of you that have stood by SOSD thank you so much! And for all of the new readers that have found out about it, God knows how :P. Thank you to you too! SOSD is extremely close to my heart so there will be a sequel of sorts to it *does a little dance*. Sequel because Arundathi will be there ;) (Shinja! ;)) but the characters will be darker, or lighter, there will only be two that will be in the middle ;). It will be more intense. So don't worry you won't be left hanging ;) xx
Okay so that's about it I guess. I am going to attempt a WTP update before I stop updating till the 27th... But it's proving extremely difficult so no guarantees!
Thank you for being patient with me and hopefully you guys won't abandon me and will remain my lovely readers when I come back too! :) xxx
Tuesday, 19 March 2013
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
Monday, 31 December 2012
OS | Wednesday in A Cafe
As promised Taylor Swift OS series ;). Now I listen to like any song if it sounds good and for a long while after Love Story I wasn't her biggest fan but I can't get over how perfect all of the songs in her new album "Red" seem to be! So this is my tribute!
~
All I feel in my stomach is butterflies,
The beautiful kind making up for lost time,
Taking flight,
Making me feel right.
- Everythign Has Changed, Taylor Swift
~
Arnav Singh Raizada sat
at his corner of the cafe. It was late in the evening, his typical alone time
and he watched as the daylight slowly dimmed into the dark night, the fading
sun making way for the glimmering moon and twinkling stars. His pen remained
frozen on that position on the thin-ruled paper as that complete look of
serenity passed through his face. It didn't hurt him to remember her anymore;
his mother because in the end things happened in life but you just had to move
on, even if it meant moving on with the broken pieces.
He resumed his writing,
where was he again? His pen halted at the sound of his phone vibrating against
the hard wooden tabletop. He brought it in front of him, his brows furrowing at
the few lines he could see in the preview and he slid it on to view the rest.
Dude just agree! La & I really want
this to work. The chicks nice just a little down! And you need to get a life!
He smirked at NK's
annoyed text message; he had been hounding Arnav down over going out with his
girlfriend’s best friend for over a week now. And he finally decided to give
in, what harm could it possibly do? Besides he was going to finally move on
with life right?
In the distant abyss of
his memory though a face churned somewhere, a tinkling laugh, soft hazel eyes
but he made a point not to dwell too much into it, the time for that had been
and gone.
****
Khushi stood in front of
her bedroom mirror whilst Lavanya lounged on the bed in the background, her
fingers expertly flicking through the pages of a magazine. She looked up for a
few minutes watching her best friend fumble over what to wear.
"You know babes it
really doesn't matter what you wear you look fab anyway," Lavanya tried to
put Khushi at ease, wanting her friend to finally be happy. She remembered
Khushi's sleepless nights, the piles of tissues, her bloodshot eyes as she
cried and then that jerk who had dared to play with her heart all over again.
If she ever saw him again she swore she would ram her heeled shoe up his arse.
A slight smile passed
through Khushi's face as she pulled the white cotton t-shirt over her tightly
fitting skinny jeans. "Isn't this too casual though?" She asked, her
voice low, her eyes still downcast.
"It's a cafe
hunnybun not a club," La retorted, rolling her eyes and focused back on
the magazine then suddenly remembering something looked up again,
"actually it's a bit weird, a cafe for a first date," she commented,
her face thoughtful then waving her hand let it go. "Oh whatever! To each
their own!"
Khushi smiled, that
small smile that still didn't quite reach her face, the heartbreak still too
real, omnipresent, only a click away from reaching the surface. But she had to
move on, he wasn't worth her time.
Noticing her friends
glumness once more, La got off of the bed and walked towards her, placing her
hand on Khushi's shoulder and pinching her chin with the other, "chin up
babe," she smiled. "Everything happens for good and who knows this
might be your prince charming," she winked.
Khushi couldn't help but
laugh this time; La always had a way with her words. Leaving a smiling La she
slowly walked over to the cupboard at the far end of the room, stopping in
front of it and letting her finger skim over the metal handle, the silver
obscured by white paint in places. Finally tightening her hand around it she
pulled the door open to reveal the many pairs of shoes, in every colour in all
different styles. Bending down she pulled out a pair of healed boots, tanned
and laced, possibly only worn a few times. A slow reminiscent smile spread
across her face and she felt the first spells of happiness bloom. She placed
her feet in them slowly, allowing herself to revel in the feel of them, how
good she finally felt. This had been the last step; towards moving away from
that relationship, from him, he’d never liked her wearing heels.
She stood in front of
the mirror again, adjusting the way her jeans rested on her hips once more, her
eyes distant as her mouth curved down a fraction. She remembered mornings of
conversations, the smell of coffee, deep chocolate brown eyes and she swallowed
hard. Prince Charming she would never find again, she’d just have to settle for
second best no one could replace the void the he had left.
Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn’t like it when I wore high heels
But I do
Turn the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn’t get this song
But I do, I do
La looked up again, her
curious eyes taking in the features of Khushi’s face that had rapidly changed.
She stood up again, leaving her magazine aside and walked over to stand behind
Khushi.
“What’s wrong babe?” She
questioned analysing her features, then placing her hands on her shoulders
turned her around to face her. “You need to stop thinking about him, today is
the day you move on,” she said, pushing her fingers into the curves of her lips
and pushing them up.
A slow smile passed over
face, “I wasn’t thinking about Shyam, I’ve moved on from him and that too
gladly,” she finally worded her thoughts. “I was thinking about him, the one
that I know I’ll never be able to move on from,” her eyes met La’s suddenly,
the tiny drops of water that had gathered in the brims of her eyes all but too
evident. “You know I think that was the main downfall of my relationship with
Shyam, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to replace him.”
“Chin up babe,” La
replied, pinching Khushi’s chin and pushing it up, “who knows what today will
hold,” she winked, suppressing the wide grin that threatened to escape her.
****
He looked up slowly, the
tantalising tinkle of the many wind chimes that moved in the wind reminding him
of her once more. Maybe agreeing to this date was a bad idea; he just couldn’t
get her off of his mind.
He looked up to the door
suddenly, a deep hidden feeling stirring in the depths of his heart somewhere.
He couldn’t place it, the cause for the sudden rapidness to his heartbeat. It
was nearly 6pm, he gulped, maybe he wasn’t ready to move on just yet, the scars
of what had happened, what he had created still only a mere few layers beneath
the surface.
His mind whirred back to
the last time he’d seen her, spheres of hazel, glazed over with tears as they
slid down her cheeks and fell to the ground in little drops.
“I just think we should break up, I want
time alone, away from everyone, away from you.”
He remembered his harsh
words, his cutting voice that had contradicted his every thought, his emotions
in a muddle, conflicting and painful as he had tried to stifle them and spare
her of the pain his future could hold.
He remembered how he’d
walked away without so much as a glance backwards, placing a stone on his
heart. And now how he yearned for her, to hold her in his arms and rest his
head on her shoulder, feel the warmth of her, the safety of the cocoon she
created, the way her laugh vibrated in hears even after she was done. But he
couldn’t undo what had been done, he’d let her go and he didn’t deserve to have
her back just because he knew all was well again.
He looked up again
suddenly, his heart almost stopping for a moment. He stood up abruptly, the
pieces of paper over the table scattering, pens rolling over and falling to the
floor.
She stopped mid-step,
her heart pounding away in her chest, her eyes wide.
He took a step forward
as she took a step back.
Their gazes clashed.
Walked in expecting you’d be late
But you got here early and you stand and
wave
I walk to you
She was sure this was an
illusion, she’d allowed herself to think about him too much today, her mind was
playing games on her and she just needed to run out, otherwise the guy who she
was supposed to meet today would take her to be demented.
He tried to fix his
scattered thoughts, tried to allow pieces to fall together. It was 6pm and NK
knew of Khushi. La? Was La Khushi’s friend, did it stand for Lavanya?
“Khushi,” his voice came
out in a whisper and she stared into his eyes in wonderment.
That felt real, like he
was really here, in front of her.
He took a few more steps
forward as she stood rooted to the spot.
“Arnav,” she mumbled
this time, not quite sure of herself, of her mind that was prone to playing
games.
“Khushi,” his lips
spread into a slow smile and this time she knew he was real.
She took a step forward
then another until she began running and she had flung herself into his arms,
colliding into his chest, her arms going around his neck.
“Khushi,” he whispered
once more, that tiny smile widening as he sent his arm around the small of her
waist, resting his head in the space of her neck.
She couldn’t stop the
tears that grazed her cheeks, he was here in the flesh in front of her, she
didn’t know what to do, her thoughts lost in an incoherent muddle somewhere and
then she stiffened, his final words ringing through her ears.
He’d broken up with her,
eight months ago; he’d left her, not even offered a final glance back. She
pushed back against the hold he had on her, peering into the depths of his
melted chocolate orbs.
He felt his smile die on
his lips, could read her thoughts as her brows scrunched together and she
looked to him in confusion.
She pushed back away
from him then, breaking away from his hold. “You left me,” she accused.
“I…” He didn’t know what
to say, he was stumbling over his own conflicting thoughts.
“You never called, you
didn’t reply to my texts, you just left!” She shouted and he didn’t know how to
reply.
“I thought it was the
best option, I didn’t want you waiting for me till I could get back, if I could
get back,” he finally replied his voice low, his eyes downcast, not meeting her
challenging gaze.
She frowned, that wasn’t
an explanation, not to what she had gone through, the attempts that she had
made to move on, onto a relationship that she would forever regret.
“That’s not…” She began
still looking for the right words to not hurt him with.
“Good enough, I know,”
he finished off for her, his chocolate brown orbs meeting hers once more, “but
you know I make rash decisions,” he admitted.
She couldn’t control herself
any longer, she’d known all along his every feeling. He’d taken a gap year and
went back home because his mother had been ill and then she’d passed away. NK,
his friend had told her and she knew why he hadn’t gotten back in touch with
her, that was Arnav, it was the way he thought.
“You could have called
me once you got back,” she finally replied, her tone still accusing, she
couldn’t keep in the anger that she had held somewhere deep inside of her.
“I didn’t know if you’d
moved on and you don’t deserve to have your heart played around with like
that,” his gaze fell to the floor once more as he said it.
She felt her heart go a
little at that, this is why she loved him, because of how he always thought it
necessary to put her before him.
She moved into his
embrace again, all her inhibitions, her anger forgotten, she placed her face
against his chest. “Why are you here today?” She questioned then.
His arms tightened
around her, glad for the comfort that she offered, her safe haven. “I’m
guessing I’m here to meet you,” that mischievous glint was back in his eyes as
a slow smirk spread over his face.
She moved back in his
embrace, pondering into his eyes, “to meet me?” She questioned, utterly
confused but with her own lips tugging into the smallest of smiles. He looked
good when he smiled, she’d missed him so much, she’d missed this warm embrace
of his, the smirk that he pulled off so well.
“Well,” he drawled, “erm
I came here to meet NK’s girlfriend’s best friend who was looking to go on a
date with me,” he finished off finally, his lips widening into a smile.
Her eyes flickered
through the features of his face as La’s words began to play over on her mind
and it all made sense now but two could play at his game. “Well I guess you
should meet her instead then, I’m sure I can find someone else,” she mumbled
pretending to be upset and feebly attempting to push away from his embrace.
He raised an eyebrow,
smirking once more, “oh really? I think I should, seeing as you aren’t
interested,” he murmured, pulling her back in, completely ignoring all of the
disapproving looks that were thrown their way.
She smiled back against
him, “I missed you,” she murmured.
He sighed, he hadn’t had
the strength to ask her to come back, he was glad for what NK had done.
“I love you,” he
murmured back into her hair.
He moved her back a
little, appraising her, he’d missed her, almost forgotten how good she looked,
how breathtakingly beautiful she was.
“You still look as beautiful,”
he whispered, tightening his arms around her, placing a gentle kiss on her
forehead as her smile widened. “And you’ve got your heels back,” he remarked,
smiling, he remembered that she’d stopped wearing them a few weeks before he
had broken up with her because she had sprained her angle.
She looked up at him
again, surprised that he’d remembered, her mind involuntarily picking out at
the jarring differences between Shyam and Arnav, “I’m out to impress this guy,”
she mused dreamily, “he has a thing for heels you know,” she winked.
“Is that right?” He
chuckled, “well hopefully in your attempts to impress this random guy you don’t
end up toppling over again and spraining that ankle of yours,” he replied.
“Well I’m sure this one
will catch me when I fall,” she retorted feigning anger, gently shoving him
back then broke into a giggle at his laughing face. She loved it when he
laughed like that.
And you throw your head back laughing
Like a little kid
I think it’s strange that you think I’m
funny cause
He never did
I’ve been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a café
I watched it begin again
“I’m sure he’d be able
to catch up with you if you don’t end up running like a headless chicken
again,” he said in between laughs and she pushed him back giggling.
“I wasn’t running like a
headless chicken! You Raizada are just not fast enough for me! Even when I’m
wearing heels!” She stated back pointing her finger his way.
“Oh really?” He
questioned raising an eyebrow, his hand going around her wrist then pulling her
in, his scorching caramel orbs leaving her slightly dazzled for a minute.
“But I’ll always be fast
enough for this,” he smirked, moving closer. She felt the blood rush through
her veins once more, her breath hitching in her throat, she felt the familiar
rapid beats of her heart, to the rhythm that was defined only for them.
He watched the slight
quiver of her lips as his own hovered only inches away, the flutter of her
lashes as her lids remained closed. He let his hands cup her face, moving
closer still. “I missed you,” he murmured finally, taking her lips into his,
her gentle reply making him feel like they had never broken up in the first
place. She let his fingers entangle in his hair, pulling him closer, her lips
hungry against his, how much she’d missed this. He lifted her up a fraction as
she sought entry into his mouth and he let her, letting their tongues clash,
intertwine, loosing himself in the love and warmth which only she could offer.
Their lips moved to a known motion as his tongue sought every corner, every
ridge of her mouth.
I’ve been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a café
I watched it begin again
“I’d forgotten how good
you looked,” she remarked as they walked down the beach, her fingers interlaced
through his.
“Aah that’s a shame, no
wonder you were ready to date a random guy,” he smirked.
She slapped his arm
playfully, “and I’d forgotten how much of an arrogant ass you are!” She chided.
She stopped suddenly
then, moving in front of him, her other hand intertwining through his as he
looked back at her questioningly “How are you though?” She finally managed to
ask.
His face dropped for a
fraction of a second but he hid it the next, only too aware that she’d already
caught on. “It was difficult at first,” he finally murmured, looking away from
her, towards the horizon, the flutter of wings of seagulls as they took flight.
“But I think I’m okay now,” he reassured looking back towards her.
She nodded back, she
knew what he felt; she’d lost her parents at a very young age too.
She looked away this time;
she caught sight of a struggling wave as it lapped against others, fought with
other waves that threatened it, its every effort focused on reaching the shore.
“I tried to move on,” she finally mumbled, she felt guilty; she wanted to tell
him, she didn’t want him to judge her.
He frowned a little then
a slow smile spread over his lips, he couldn’t help but feel proud of her; this
was why he’d fallen in love with her, why he would never fall out of love with
her.
He pulled her back into
an embrace, “it doesn’t matter,” he murmured into her hair, placing a gentle
lingering kiss. “Besides I’d done voodoo on you to make sure that they wouldn’t
work out,” he smirked against her hair. “Actually no,” he moved her back a bit
and watched her bewildered eyes for a second, “I didn’t need to since you’re so
annoying anyway,” he smirked, “no one else would go to the trouble of putting
up with you,” he chuckled as she shoved him back.
“Shut up, that’s mean!”
She pouted as she fell into a giggle herself.
“It’s mean?” He
questioned raising an eyebrow as she moved over and linked her arm through his,
“because I’m the one that demands jalebis in the wee hours of the morning,
sends threatening text messages when I’m late for something,” he began to list.
“At least it’s better
than a certain someone that replies with K after I’ve sent him a huge text just
because he can’t be bothered typing a few words, makes up lame excuses after
doing stupid things,” she retorted making a face at him.
“Well then I propose
that as we are equally flawed as each other, we should go out, you know
apparently things like this work out,” he winked stopping in front of her.
“Oh I dunno,” she mused,
“it just seems like I could find someone so much better,” she tapped her chin,
screwing up her face as if in thought.
He pulled her back
against her suddenly, taking her lips into his, then breaking away for a
second, “Actually sweetheart I’m not leaving you an option here, we’re going
out,” he murmured into her lips, his husky voice sending goosebumps over her
skin as he took her lips in once more and she sighed against them then moulded
herself into the haven of his embrace.
And you throw your head back laughing
Like a little kid
I think it’s strange that you think I’m
funny coz
He never did
I’ve been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a café
I watch it begin again
But on Wednesday in a café
I watched it begin again…
Friday, 9 November 2012
Important blog note! Reg. all FFs...
So I still don't quite understand what is going on and frankly I'm not happy with any of it either. I hate being left out in the blind and not even knowing who exactly to be more pissed off at. But if Barun is leaving for good then I honestly wish him the best of luck and hope he reaches more and more heights in his career. It is a show after all and one of these days it had to come to an end.
For me I don't care if it continues or not anymore, although I would personally like it to end if Barun is not going to remain in the show.
Anyway regarding my FFs, I know some people have decided to wrap up their stories etc. etc. And therefore I have received some PMs asking if I will be wrapping up my FFs or just leaving them or whatever. And the answer to that is no I will not be wrapping up my FFs or discontinue writing :). Be rest assured. I have a lot of readers that have stuck with me even through the bad times so thank you so much for that and I'll keep writing as long as you guys show me the support :). I can understand a lot of people leaving IPK altogether with what has happened and I am also one of them although I won't stop reading FFs so for all the other people like me I will not be stopping them :).
Just imagine Barun in all of my Arnav/ASR roles, especially the Diwali Barun with the short hair :P. But then again I don't mind his hair part if that's what ya guys like :P.
Right now my updates are appearing a bit too late because I have piles and piles of work to get through. But I promise to sort my life out as soon as and get the updates up real quick!
I know a lot of you are demotivated and to be frank I was pretty down about this issue yesterday as well but I've made peace with it and moved on reassuring myself that IPK finished on a happy note after Shyam left :P.
I have also started a new FF which actually focuses on going back through all of the old episodes and re-writing aspects of them into the future, to sort of re-live the magic. So hope you like that :).
Updates will be re-starting starting tonight and I hope to get "When Truth Prevails," "Paper Roses" and "The ASR-KKG Files" updated by Sunday night. "A Sprinkle of Stardust is going through a sort of transformation in my mind so that will probably only be up mid-week next week :).
Sorry for the delay once again!
If the show does end here and the forum closes down or I stop coming on to IF or whatever the stories will always be updated on my blog!
The main index blog link is this: Beyond The Stars Index and it will always have a list of all of my FFs and OSs.
I hope you guys do continue to read my work and continue to leave your lovely amazing comments that never fail to make me smile! Stick in there guys! IPK or the true essence of it when it started was epic and legendary and it will always continue to be! In the end we only remember the good times so just remember the good times ;).
Lotsa Love Pinks xx
For me I don't care if it continues or not anymore, although I would personally like it to end if Barun is not going to remain in the show.
Anyway regarding my FFs, I know some people have decided to wrap up their stories etc. etc. And therefore I have received some PMs asking if I will be wrapping up my FFs or just leaving them or whatever. And the answer to that is no I will not be wrapping up my FFs or discontinue writing :). Be rest assured. I have a lot of readers that have stuck with me even through the bad times so thank you so much for that and I'll keep writing as long as you guys show me the support :). I can understand a lot of people leaving IPK altogether with what has happened and I am also one of them although I won't stop reading FFs so for all the other people like me I will not be stopping them :).
Just imagine Barun in all of my Arnav/ASR roles, especially the Diwali Barun with the short hair :P. But then again I don't mind his hair part if that's what ya guys like :P.
Right now my updates are appearing a bit too late because I have piles and piles of work to get through. But I promise to sort my life out as soon as and get the updates up real quick!
I know a lot of you are demotivated and to be frank I was pretty down about this issue yesterday as well but I've made peace with it and moved on reassuring myself that IPK finished on a happy note after Shyam left :P.
I have also started a new FF which actually focuses on going back through all of the old episodes and re-writing aspects of them into the future, to sort of re-live the magic. So hope you like that :).
Updates will be re-starting starting tonight and I hope to get "When Truth Prevails," "Paper Roses" and "The ASR-KKG Files" updated by Sunday night. "A Sprinkle of Stardust is going through a sort of transformation in my mind so that will probably only be up mid-week next week :).
Sorry for the delay once again!
If the show does end here and the forum closes down or I stop coming on to IF or whatever the stories will always be updated on my blog!
The main index blog link is this: Beyond The Stars Index and it will always have a list of all of my FFs and OSs.
I hope you guys do continue to read my work and continue to leave your lovely amazing comments that never fail to make me smile! Stick in there guys! IPK or the true essence of it when it started was epic and legendary and it will always continue to be! In the end we only remember the good times so just remember the good times ;).
Lotsa Love Pinks xx
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Sunday, 4 November 2012
OS - Missing Melodies
The italics indicate flashbacks. Each one will only be from individual angles. So Khushi's feeling will not be presented in Arnav's flashback and vice versa.
If this goes well I'll continue on with my series. It'll be random stories, this one is based on the current track but the others won't be. Basically they are all based on the new Taylor Swift album "Red" - if you haven't already heard it please have a listen! ;) xx
~
I have not felt
You
For so many days,
so many nights.
I have sat next to a stranger,
I have held the hand
of a ghost.
I have kissed the lips
of a phantom
and I hav put my arm
around the empty space
you should be filling.
- Tyler Knott Gregson
You
For so many days,
so many nights.
I have sat next to a stranger,
I have held the hand
of a ghost.
I have kissed the lips
of a phantom
and I hav put my arm
around the empty space
you should be filling.
- Tyler Knott Gregson
~
Her words still echoed inside his head, the furious glint in her large hazel eyes, her nostrils flaring, her accusations hurtling through the air. He grabbed the bedside vase that she had arranged so lovingly weeks ago and crashed it to the floor, his fingers trembling, the tendons of his hand standing out. He could feel his facial muscles pulsate with the fury, the agony that coursed through him. He watched as the water from the vase slowly spilled out against the carpet, spreading it's tentacles in all directions. He buried his head in his hands, he was sick and tired of always being wrong.
"It's your child Arnav! Aarav is your child!" She screamed, the tears streaking down her face as he stared on completely dumbfounded, his mind refusing to react.
He closed his eyes for a second, gathering his scattered thoughts then opened them again to raging orbs of burning hazel. "Khushi what the hell is wrong with you? Haven't we had this conversation before?" He screamed, his own anger getting the better of him, his fists clenched at his sides.
She took a step towards him, "Arnav the facts are in front of you. He... He," She threw her arms up in the air, agitated, "He behaves exactly like you! She gets so uncomfortable in front of you! Why don't you just..."
"Why don't I just what Khushi?!" He screamed taking a step forward and grabbing her by the shoulders, his fingers tight against her skin as she squirmed under his grasp. "What the hell do you want me to do? He is not my child! So what if he behaves like me?!" He moved closer, his breath against her face as she continued to look into his eyes, her features frozen on terrified. "You don't trust me Khushi! You promised to stop this! Just STOP THIS!" He screamed unable to handle the anger that flared through him.
She exhaled loudly, her features changing to one of extreme calm in the space of a second, closing her eyes for a second she moved her hands attempting to loosen his grip on her. He let go, realising what he was doing again and sighing took a step back.
"I just... I just want to think about this, I need time to come to terms with what's going on," she finally stated, her voice quiet and defeated.
He watched her momentarily, the irritation clear on his face, "what the hell do you mean by you need to come to terms with this?" He exclaimed, "come to terms with what?"
"I just need to, just leave me alone for a while," she mumbled, her eyes on the ground as she turned around and started walking away from him.
He took a few more steps forward, "Khushi what do you mean by? Khushi don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" He yelled walking after her, "Khushi what the?" He tried again as she walked out of the room shutting the door on his face.
****
We had a beautiful magic love affair
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair
She walked the streets of Lucknow, her feet quietly hitting off of the pavement, she didn't make an attempt to shield herself from the scorching rays of the assaulting sun. She wanted to escape memories, make clear to herself that the decision she had taken was right. She wasn't blind, Arnavji may love her but she couldn't escape the truth. That child was Arnav's and the child deserved a family. Yes she loved Arnav but that also meant that she could sacrifice anything for him, even her own dreams and desires. Yes they loved each other and she didn't doubt that for a second but that wasn't what was at stake here. At stake here was an innocent child, his need for a father, his need to have a complete family and she more than anyone else understood that, the intricacies, the delicate beauty of having a family, the perpetual love hanging over your head. And she also knew what it meant to lose that in a blink of an eye so could she for her own selfish reasons let him live without the knowledge of a father for the rest of his life? Could she forsake Aarav of a father because her own love was worth more.
She sent her hand to the base of her throat, rubbing at her flesh as she attempted to calm the burning that irrupted from her heart once more, her tears involuntarily gathering up at the brims of her eyes. It had been two weeks since she had last seen his face, his clear chocolate brown eyes, his gentle, delicate voice. But things would change, it would take time but it would change. Right now she needed to get away, give him space and he too would one day learn not to hate her for the step that she had finally taken.
****
He was running towards her, his feet on the red ash of the ground kicking up clouds of dusts as he felt someone else tug onto his vest but he had to get her. Her feet were slowly slipping off of the edge, her bright blue and red dupatta flaying in the wind. But the distance seemed to increase.
"Arnavji!"
He felt her scream echo inside his ears, pierce his heart into a million pieces.
Arnav jolted awake, he'd had the same nightmare for three days consecutively, ever since she'd left sleep refused to come to him. He felt her absence like the painful tugging of an open wound. He yearned for her, her warm delicate body against his, their fingers intertwined even in sleep, the serene beauty that she held. But she was missing, her last request a letter that she not be searched for. If he really loved her he wouldn't look for her she'd said, if he really loved her he'd understand she'd written, if he really loved her he'd move on she'd said. He wiped the sweat that had gathered on his forward and leaned over to pour himself glass of water. He felt his fingers freeze on the glass.
She began walking over to him, clad in that beautiful white salwaar of hers, he felt her fingers go over his and his fingers on the glass loosen almost immediately. He kept watching her, this angel of his as she placed her palm on his forehead and rested him back against the bed. His arm went out to her slowly, his fingers out-stretched to touch her, to feel her, a small smile spreading across his lips at the fact that she was back. He felt his hand clasp around her arm, then nothing. He blinked several times, but she was gone, he'd imagined it all.
--
She twisted and turned, her mind filled with all sorts of nightmares.
What if I lost you damn it!
Of course farakh partha hain!
Because I love you DAMN IT!
His words an echoing scream in her mind, she sat up right, her fingers clutching onto the edges of her sheet. The tears streaked down her cheeks all over again and she buried her head in her knees, if only he could understand how much it hurt her to leave him. But she wished the best for him, wished he was happy with Sheetal, that she kept him well, gave him his medicine on time. She prayed to Devi Mayya that no harm ever come to him.
In dreams I meet you in warm conversation
We both wake in lonely beds different cities
And time is taking a sweet time erasing you
And you've got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me
Cause we had a beautiful magic love affair
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair
****
He couldn't understand how blind he had been to his wife's pain, what it must have felt for her to be driven to the conclusion that Aarav was his child when really it had been Sheetal's ploy all along. He cursed himself for what felt like the millionth time as his fist landed on the glass french door. The stars twinkling in the night sky reminded him once again of her, her mesmerising, innocent ways. Would this be his punishment for his constant ignorance. It was impossible to live without her, to breathe, this was what life without Khushi felt like and he couldn't live in that world.
"Come on Arnav I don't know why you liked her in the first place anyway," Sheetal's disgusting words passed through his mind once more, what had he been thinking. He could still remember that ferocious glint in her eyes.
"Think about it we'd have a much better future together, me," she walked up to him, her fingers tracing up his chest, "you, together," she smiled that awkward smile at him.
His eyes narrowed, he took her hand and flung it away from him, "how dare you come into my room and talk about my wife," he was quickly catching onto things, if she thought he would be played stupid twice in his life she had another thing coming. He took a threatening step towards her, his eyes burning embers, "what about Aarav my so called child?" He asked then, his eyes narrowing and taking in her every expression.
He watched as her words began to falter, as she began to look for excuses, "I... I mean," she struggled.
"You what Sheetal, you thought you could fool me?" He questioned, his eyes dark, "you thought you could just walk in here with any random child and claim some non-existent right over me?" He questioned taking a further step towards her. She looked away, afraid to meet his glowering gaze. "That's not my child and I'm afraid I have no space in my life for you either so as their seems to be no purpose for you to stay her I suggest you get out," his voice was low but the threat was clear.
Her eyes lifted upto him, "but Arnav you have to. I love you!" She proclaimed, attempting to take his hand but he threw it away, his eyes igniting with the raw anger that he felt pulsating through him.
"Sheetal before I do something that I'll regret," he growled through gritted teeth, "GET THE FUCK OUT!" He screamed.
He knew he was playing foul but he needed her back in his life, he couldn't survive without her and as her family refused to tell him where she was he would play his final card knowing that she would react.
****
The envelope shook in her hands as she attempted to peel it open with her uselessly trembling fingers. She'd tried to keep herself from reading it ever since her Amma had forwarded it onto her but she hadn't been able to, finally giving in, she tore it open. The neatly folded piece of paper scrunching up in the process as she fumbled to get it open, the tears in her eyes slightly obstructing her view.
Dear Khushi,
She wanted to skim through the words but she stopped herself, frowning at his awkward writing on the already ruined piece of paper.
I know jaan that I could have avoided this, we could have talked this out, found a solution but I didn't give you the opportunity, I wasn't their for you when you needed me the most. And it hurts me to know that I let such insecurities grow, that I could have in part fuelled them and for that I'm sorry, a million times.
She felt the tears gather up in her eyes and flow down her cheeks, she wiped her face with the back of her hand, sniffing as she tried to read on.
Life without you is meaningless, waking up to the empty side of your bed breaks me into a thousand pieces and I can't see myself bearing it no more. If only you had given me a chance to explain, if only I had tried to understand your pain. But this seems like our own vicious cycle and maybe this is what I deserve for everything I have done to you till date. Maybe this is your Devi Mayyas way of making me understand.
She shook her head, willing his words to stop there on the paper, no it wasn't his fault, she just wanted him to be happy. That's it. She wanted him to have a complete family.
Jaan Sheetal was lying, she was fuelling your insecurities and I have no one to blame for them than myself."
Her eyes widened, she felt as if she had been struck by lightening, she jumped off of her bed, already fixing her dupatta to go back to him. Why hadn't she given him a chance to explain and now he was only blaming himself.
And now Khushi I don't know what to do, I don't know how to live without you anymore and I can't survive in the knowledge that we live in the same country and yet I can't find you. I fear that I'll be taken over by insanity if I stay so I'm leaving, on the 5th. I hope you see this and decide to come back, decide that I deserve another chance. But if you decide otherwise I will understand and I will live with the happiness that you were at least mine for even the slightest frame of time.
She was on her feet immediately, she still had a day to go, she would find him, she would take back what was and always would be hers. She remembered the last time he had decided to leave, what that had meant, the stops and stutters of her heart, her fingers trailing down the glass, his fingers slipping out of her reach.
"Khushi I love you," his genuine cry for help. "No no no!" She exclaimed to herself, she couldn't let that happen all over again didn't trust the world with her Arnav. She would have to reach him before he left, she couldn't leave him alone with his own demons once more, he didn't deserve that.
Her heart pounded against her ribs as she ran with the fingers tight on the thin strap of her bag, she needed to get to him fast.
Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
silence, this train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back
****
He struggled for balance as her petite body collided into the strong planes of his, his arms automatically going around her slight frame, his face burying into her hair. She felt his fingers tighten on her skin as her feet lifted off of the ground, the tears escaping in hiccups.
"I'm so sorry," she heard him mumble into her hair as she reluctantly moved his head back, her hands cupping his face as she quickly shook her head in between the tears, "please Arnavji don't," she tried.
"No but I need to Khushi," she could see the tears glazing his own pools of chocolate brown and she placed her palm on his lips, "please Arnavji you don't need to say anything. I shouldn't have left you, I'm sor," she mumbled but he interrupted her, his lips in that place where they were almost touching hers.
"Shhh shhh," he hushed her then took her lips into his, breaking away he cupped her gentle face in his hands, "I'm sorry for putting you through this, no let me speak," he cut in as she attempted to speak once more,"for being so ignorant to your feelings," he placed his lips tenderly on her forehead, taking in the beautiful reality of the fact that she was back. "And I promise to make it up to you, I promise to make up for every single mistake of mines even if it takes my whole entire lifetime," he vowed looking into the depths of her drowning hazel eyes.
"And I promise to keep that promise of mines of never leaving you," she stated, for the first time taking his lips into hers, "I promise to never let anyone come between us ever again."
A beautiful magic love affair...
This was my first OS :D. I'm not usually an OS person so sorry if this isn't good.
This isn't the way I want this track to work but separation could do the both of them some good and I want it to finally lead up to a proper redemption anyway, proper conversations, meaningful promises and this was just my attempt to portray that. Hope it's turned out well :)
I know I haven't gone into detail about Shit-all but hey-ho I don't think I like her and I find it difficult to write about characters I don't like :P xx
She exhaled loudly, her features changing to one of extreme calm in the space of a second, closing her eyes for a second she moved her hands attempting to loosen his grip on her. He let go, realising what he was doing again and sighing took a step back.
"I just... I just want to think about this, I need time to come to terms with what's going on," she finally stated, her voice quiet and defeated.
He watched her momentarily, the irritation clear on his face, "what the hell do you mean by you need to come to terms with this?" He exclaimed, "come to terms with what?"
"I just need to, just leave me alone for a while," she mumbled, her eyes on the ground as she turned around and started walking away from him.
He took a few more steps forward, "Khushi what do you mean by? Khushi don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" He yelled walking after her, "Khushi what the?" He tried again as she walked out of the room shutting the door on his face.
****
We had a beautiful magic love affair
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair
She walked the streets of Lucknow, her feet quietly hitting off of the pavement, she didn't make an attempt to shield herself from the scorching rays of the assaulting sun. She wanted to escape memories, make clear to herself that the decision she had taken was right. She wasn't blind, Arnavji may love her but she couldn't escape the truth. That child was Arnav's and the child deserved a family. Yes she loved Arnav but that also meant that she could sacrifice anything for him, even her own dreams and desires. Yes they loved each other and she didn't doubt that for a second but that wasn't what was at stake here. At stake here was an innocent child, his need for a father, his need to have a complete family and she more than anyone else understood that, the intricacies, the delicate beauty of having a family, the perpetual love hanging over your head. And she also knew what it meant to lose that in a blink of an eye so could she for her own selfish reasons let him live without the knowledge of a father for the rest of his life? Could she forsake Aarav of a father because her own love was worth more.
She sent her hand to the base of her throat, rubbing at her flesh as she attempted to calm the burning that irrupted from her heart once more, her tears involuntarily gathering up at the brims of her eyes. It had been two weeks since she had last seen his face, his clear chocolate brown eyes, his gentle, delicate voice. But things would change, it would take time but it would change. Right now she needed to get away, give him space and he too would one day learn not to hate her for the step that she had finally taken.
****
He was running towards her, his feet on the red ash of the ground kicking up clouds of dusts as he felt someone else tug onto his vest but he had to get her. Her feet were slowly slipping off of the edge, her bright blue and red dupatta flaying in the wind. But the distance seemed to increase.
"Arnavji!"
He felt her scream echo inside his ears, pierce his heart into a million pieces.
Arnav jolted awake, he'd had the same nightmare for three days consecutively, ever since she'd left sleep refused to come to him. He felt her absence like the painful tugging of an open wound. He yearned for her, her warm delicate body against his, their fingers intertwined even in sleep, the serene beauty that she held. But she was missing, her last request a letter that she not be searched for. If he really loved her he wouldn't look for her she'd said, if he really loved her he'd understand she'd written, if he really loved her he'd move on she'd said. He wiped the sweat that had gathered on his forward and leaned over to pour himself glass of water. He felt his fingers freeze on the glass.
She began walking over to him, clad in that beautiful white salwaar of hers, he felt her fingers go over his and his fingers on the glass loosen almost immediately. He kept watching her, this angel of his as she placed her palm on his forehead and rested him back against the bed. His arm went out to her slowly, his fingers out-stretched to touch her, to feel her, a small smile spreading across his lips at the fact that she was back. He felt his hand clasp around her arm, then nothing. He blinked several times, but she was gone, he'd imagined it all.
--
She twisted and turned, her mind filled with all sorts of nightmares.
What if I lost you damn it!
Of course farakh partha hain!
Because I love you DAMN IT!
His words an echoing scream in her mind, she sat up right, her fingers clutching onto the edges of her sheet. The tears streaked down her cheeks all over again and she buried her head in her knees, if only he could understand how much it hurt her to leave him. But she wished the best for him, wished he was happy with Sheetal, that she kept him well, gave him his medicine on time. She prayed to Devi Mayya that no harm ever come to him.
In dreams I meet you in warm conversation
We both wake in lonely beds different cities
And time is taking a sweet time erasing you
And you've got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me
Cause we had a beautiful magic love affair
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair
****
He couldn't understand how blind he had been to his wife's pain, what it must have felt for her to be driven to the conclusion that Aarav was his child when really it had been Sheetal's ploy all along. He cursed himself for what felt like the millionth time as his fist landed on the glass french door. The stars twinkling in the night sky reminded him once again of her, her mesmerising, innocent ways. Would this be his punishment for his constant ignorance. It was impossible to live without her, to breathe, this was what life without Khushi felt like and he couldn't live in that world.
"Come on Arnav I don't know why you liked her in the first place anyway," Sheetal's disgusting words passed through his mind once more, what had he been thinking. He could still remember that ferocious glint in her eyes.
"Think about it we'd have a much better future together, me," she walked up to him, her fingers tracing up his chest, "you, together," she smiled that awkward smile at him.
His eyes narrowed, he took her hand and flung it away from him, "how dare you come into my room and talk about my wife," he was quickly catching onto things, if she thought he would be played stupid twice in his life she had another thing coming. He took a threatening step towards her, his eyes burning embers, "what about Aarav my so called child?" He asked then, his eyes narrowing and taking in her every expression.
He watched as her words began to falter, as she began to look for excuses, "I... I mean," she struggled.
"You what Sheetal, you thought you could fool me?" He questioned, his eyes dark, "you thought you could just walk in here with any random child and claim some non-existent right over me?" He questioned taking a further step towards her. She looked away, afraid to meet his glowering gaze. "That's not my child and I'm afraid I have no space in my life for you either so as their seems to be no purpose for you to stay her I suggest you get out," his voice was low but the threat was clear.
Her eyes lifted upto him, "but Arnav you have to. I love you!" She proclaimed, attempting to take his hand but he threw it away, his eyes igniting with the raw anger that he felt pulsating through him.
"Sheetal before I do something that I'll regret," he growled through gritted teeth, "GET THE FUCK OUT!" He screamed.
He knew he was playing foul but he needed her back in his life, he couldn't survive without her and as her family refused to tell him where she was he would play his final card knowing that she would react.
****
The envelope shook in her hands as she attempted to peel it open with her uselessly trembling fingers. She'd tried to keep herself from reading it ever since her Amma had forwarded it onto her but she hadn't been able to, finally giving in, she tore it open. The neatly folded piece of paper scrunching up in the process as she fumbled to get it open, the tears in her eyes slightly obstructing her view.
Dear Khushi,
She wanted to skim through the words but she stopped herself, frowning at his awkward writing on the already ruined piece of paper.
I know jaan that I could have avoided this, we could have talked this out, found a solution but I didn't give you the opportunity, I wasn't their for you when you needed me the most. And it hurts me to know that I let such insecurities grow, that I could have in part fuelled them and for that I'm sorry, a million times.
She felt the tears gather up in her eyes and flow down her cheeks, she wiped her face with the back of her hand, sniffing as she tried to read on.
Life without you is meaningless, waking up to the empty side of your bed breaks me into a thousand pieces and I can't see myself bearing it no more. If only you had given me a chance to explain, if only I had tried to understand your pain. But this seems like our own vicious cycle and maybe this is what I deserve for everything I have done to you till date. Maybe this is your Devi Mayyas way of making me understand.
She shook her head, willing his words to stop there on the paper, no it wasn't his fault, she just wanted him to be happy. That's it. She wanted him to have a complete family.
Jaan Sheetal was lying, she was fuelling your insecurities and I have no one to blame for them than myself."
Her eyes widened, she felt as if she had been struck by lightening, she jumped off of her bed, already fixing her dupatta to go back to him. Why hadn't she given him a chance to explain and now he was only blaming himself.
And now Khushi I don't know what to do, I don't know how to live without you anymore and I can't survive in the knowledge that we live in the same country and yet I can't find you. I fear that I'll be taken over by insanity if I stay so I'm leaving, on the 5th. I hope you see this and decide to come back, decide that I deserve another chance. But if you decide otherwise I will understand and I will live with the happiness that you were at least mine for even the slightest frame of time.
She was on her feet immediately, she still had a day to go, she would find him, she would take back what was and always would be hers. She remembered the last time he had decided to leave, what that had meant, the stops and stutters of her heart, her fingers trailing down the glass, his fingers slipping out of her reach.
"Khushi I love you," his genuine cry for help. "No no no!" She exclaimed to herself, she couldn't let that happen all over again didn't trust the world with her Arnav. She would have to reach him before he left, she couldn't leave him alone with his own demons once more, he didn't deserve that.
Her heart pounded against her ribs as she ran with the fingers tight on the thin strap of her bag, she needed to get to him fast.
Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
silence, this train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back
****
He struggled for balance as her petite body collided into the strong planes of his, his arms automatically going around her slight frame, his face burying into her hair. She felt his fingers tighten on her skin as her feet lifted off of the ground, the tears escaping in hiccups.
"I'm so sorry," she heard him mumble into her hair as she reluctantly moved his head back, her hands cupping his face as she quickly shook her head in between the tears, "please Arnavji don't," she tried.
"No but I need to Khushi," she could see the tears glazing his own pools of chocolate brown and she placed her palm on his lips, "please Arnavji you don't need to say anything. I shouldn't have left you, I'm sor," she mumbled but he interrupted her, his lips in that place where they were almost touching hers.
"Shhh shhh," he hushed her then took her lips into his, breaking away he cupped her gentle face in his hands, "I'm sorry for putting you through this, no let me speak," he cut in as she attempted to speak once more,"for being so ignorant to your feelings," he placed his lips tenderly on her forehead, taking in the beautiful reality of the fact that she was back. "And I promise to make it up to you, I promise to make up for every single mistake of mines even if it takes my whole entire lifetime," he vowed looking into the depths of her drowning hazel eyes.
"And I promise to keep that promise of mines of never leaving you," she stated, for the first time taking his lips into hers, "I promise to never let anyone come between us ever again."
A beautiful magic love affair...
~
You are exactly
precisely and perfectly
what I waited for
- Tyler Knott Gregson
~
This isn't the way I want this track to work but separation could do the both of them some good and I want it to finally lead up to a proper redemption anyway, proper conversations, meaningful promises and this was just my attempt to portray that. Hope it's turned out well :)
I know I haven't gone into detail about Shit-all but hey-ho I don't think I like her and I find it difficult to write about characters I don't like :P xx
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Paper Roses
Prologue
Chapter 1 - Clash of Colours
Chapter 2 - Hazel Orbs
Chapter 3 - Written In The Stars
Chapter 4 - The Bridge That Holds Us
Chapter 5 - Unknown Realms
Chapter 6 - Boarded Up
Chapter 7 - Where Waves Collide
Chapter 8 - Captured Wings
Chapter 9 - Her Coloured Hues
Chapter 10 - To Burn in Flames
Chapter 11 - When Fate Plays
Chapter 12 - Of Bloodshot Greens
Chapter 13 - And it's All Blurred
Chapter 14 - Captured
Chapter 15 - Change The Tides - Part 1
Chapter 15 - Change The Tides - Part 2
Chapter 1 - Clash of Colours
Chapter 2 - Hazel Orbs
Chapter 3 - Written In The Stars
Chapter 4 - The Bridge That Holds Us
Chapter 5 - Unknown Realms
Chapter 6 - Boarded Up
Chapter 7 - Where Waves Collide
Chapter 8 - Captured Wings
Chapter 9 - Her Coloured Hues
Chapter 10 - To Burn in Flames
Chapter 11 - When Fate Plays
Chapter 12 - Of Bloodshot Greens
Chapter 13 - And it's All Blurred
Chapter 14 - Captured
Chapter 15 - Change The Tides - Part 1
Chapter 15 - Change The Tides - Part 2
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