Sunday 4 November 2012

OS - Missing Melodies

The italics indicate flashbacks. Each one will only be from individual angles. So Khushi's feeling will not be presented in Arnav's flashback and vice versa. 

If this goes well I'll continue on with my series. It'll be random stories, this one is based on the current track but the others won't be. Basically they are all based on the new Taylor Swift album "Red" - if you haven't already heard it please have a listen! ;) xx


~
I have not felt
You
For so many days,
so many nights. 
I have sat next to a stranger,
I have held the hand
of a ghost.
I have kissed the lips
of a phantom
and I hav put my arm
around the empty space
you should be filling. 
- Tyler Knott Gregson
~

Her words still echoed inside his head, the furious glint in her large hazel eyes, her nostrils flaring, her accusations hurtling through the air. He grabbed the bedside vase that she had arranged so lovingly weeks ago and crashed it to the floor, his fingers trembling, the tendons of his hand standing out. He could feel his facial muscles pulsate with the fury, the agony that coursed through him. He watched as the water from the vase slowly spilled out against the carpet, spreading it's tentacles in all directions. He buried his head in his hands, he was sick and tired of always being wrong. 

"It's your child Arnav! Aarav is your child!" She screamed, the tears streaking down her face as he stared on completely dumbfounded, his mind refusing to react. 

He closed his eyes for a second, gathering his scattered thoughts then opened them again to raging orbs of burning hazel. "Khushi what the hell is wrong with you? Haven't we had this conversation before?" He screamed, his own anger getting the better of him, his fists clenched at his sides. 

She took a step towards him, "Arnav the facts are in front of you. He... He," She threw her arms up in the air, agitated, "He behaves exactly like you! She gets so uncomfortable in front of you! Why don't you just..."

"Why don't I just what Khushi?!" He screamed taking a step forward and grabbing her by the shoulders, his fingers tight against her skin as she squirmed under his grasp. "What the hell do you want me to do? He is not my child! So what if he behaves like me?!" He moved closer, his breath against her face as she continued to look into his eyes, her features frozen on terrified. "You don't trust me Khushi! You promised to stop this! Just STOP THIS!" He screamed unable to handle the anger that flared through him. 

She exhaled loudly, her features changing to one of extreme calm in the space of a second, closing her eyes for a second she moved her hands attempting to loosen his grip on her. He let go, realising what he was doing again and sighing took a step back. 

"I just... I just want to think about this, I need time to come to terms with what's going on," she finally stated, her voice quiet and defeated. 

He watched her momentarily, the irritation clear on his face, "what the hell do you mean by you need to come to terms with this?" He exclaimed, "come to terms with what?"

"I just need to, just leave me alone for a while," she mumbled, her eyes on the ground as she turned around and started walking away from him. 

He took a few more steps forward, "Khushi what do you mean by? Khushi don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" He yelled walking after her, "Khushi what the?" He tried again as she walked out of the room shutting the door on his face. 

****

We had a beautiful magic love affair
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

She walked the streets of Lucknow, her feet quietly hitting off of the pavement, she didn't make an attempt to shield herself from the scorching rays of the assaulting sun. She wanted to escape memories, make clear to herself that the decision she had taken was right. She wasn't blind, Arnavji may love her but she couldn't escape the truth. That child was Arnav's and the child deserved a family. Yes she loved Arnav but that also meant that she could sacrifice anything for him, even her own dreams and desires. Yes they loved each other and she didn't doubt that for a second but that wasn't what was at stake here. At stake here was an innocent child, his need for a father, his need to have a complete family and she more than anyone else understood that, the intricacies, the delicate beauty of having a family, the perpetual love hanging over your head. And she also knew what it meant to lose that in a blink of an eye so could she for her own selfish reasons let him live without the knowledge of a father for the rest of his life? Could she forsake Aarav of a father because her own love was worth more.

She sent her hand to the base of her throat, rubbing at her flesh as she attempted to calm the burning that irrupted from her heart once more, her tears involuntarily gathering up at the brims of her eyes. It had been two weeks since she had last seen his face, his clear chocolate brown eyes, his gentle, delicate voice. But things would change, it would take time but it would change. Right now she needed to get away, give him space and he too would one day learn not to hate her for the step that she had finally taken.

****

He was running towards her, his feet on the red ash of the ground kicking up clouds of dusts as he felt someone else tug onto his vest but he had to get her. Her feet were slowly slipping off of the edge, her bright blue and red dupatta flaying in the wind. But the distance seemed to increase.

"Arnavji!"

He felt her scream echo inside his ears, pierce his heart into a million pieces.

Arnav jolted awake, he'd had the same nightmare for three days consecutively, ever since she'd left sleep refused to come to him. He felt her absence like the painful tugging of an open wound. He yearned for her, her warm delicate body against his, their fingers intertwined even in sleep, the serene beauty that she held. But she was missing, her last request a letter that she not be searched for. If he really loved her he wouldn't look for her she'd said, if he really loved her he'd understand she'd written, if he really loved her he'd move on she'd said. He wiped the sweat that had gathered on his forward and leaned over to pour himself glass of water. He felt his fingers freeze on the glass.

She began walking over to him, clad in that beautiful white salwaar of hers, he felt her fingers go over his and his fingers on the glass loosen almost immediately. He kept watching her, this angel of his as she placed her palm on his forehead and rested him back against the bed. His arm went out to her slowly, his fingers out-stretched to touch her, to feel her, a small smile spreading across his lips at the fact that she was back. He felt his hand clasp around her arm, then nothing. He blinked several times, but she was gone, he'd imagined it all.

--

She twisted and turned, her mind filled with all sorts of nightmares.

What if I lost you damn it! 

Of course farakh partha hain!

Because I love you DAMN IT!

His words an echoing scream in her mind, she sat up right, her fingers clutching onto the edges of her sheet. The tears streaked down her cheeks all over again and she buried her head in her knees, if only he could understand how much it hurt her to leave him. But she wished the best for him, wished he was happy with Sheetal, that she kept him well, gave him his medicine on time. She prayed to Devi Mayya that no harm ever come to him.

In dreams I meet you in warm conversation
We both wake in lonely beds different cities
And time is taking a sweet time erasing you
And you've got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me

Cause we had a beautiful magic love affair
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

****

He couldn't understand how blind he had been to his wife's pain, what it must have felt for her to be driven to the conclusion that Aarav was his child when really it had been Sheetal's ploy all along. He cursed himself for what felt like the millionth time as his fist landed on the glass french door. The stars twinkling in the night sky reminded him once again of her, her mesmerising, innocent ways. Would this be his punishment for his constant ignorance. It was impossible to live without her, to breathe, this was what life without Khushi felt like and he couldn't live in that world.

"Come on Arnav I don't know why you liked her in the first place anyway," Sheetal's disgusting words passed through his mind once more, what had he been thinking. He could still remember that ferocious glint in her eyes.

"Think about it we'd have a much better future together, me," she walked up to him, her fingers tracing up his chest, "you, together," she smiled that awkward smile at him. 

His eyes narrowed, he took her hand and flung it away from him, "how dare you come into my room and talk about my wife," he was quickly catching onto things, if she thought he would be played stupid twice in his life she had another thing coming. He took a threatening step towards her, his eyes burning embers, "what about Aarav my so called child?" He asked then, his eyes narrowing and taking in her every expression. 

He watched as her words began to falter, as she began to look for excuses, "I... I mean," she struggled. 

"You what Sheetal, you thought you could fool me?" He questioned, his eyes dark, "you thought you could just walk in here with any random child and claim some non-existent right over me?" He questioned taking a further step towards her. She looked away, afraid to meet his glowering gaze. "That's not my child and I'm afraid I have no space in my life for you either so as their seems to be no purpose for you to stay her I suggest you get out," his voice was low but the threat was clear. 

Her eyes lifted upto him, "but Arnav you have to. I love you!" She proclaimed, attempting to take his hand but he threw it away, his eyes igniting with the raw anger that he felt pulsating through him.

"Sheetal before I do something that I'll regret," he growled through gritted teeth, "GET THE FUCK OUT!" He screamed. 

He knew he was playing foul but he needed her back in his life, he couldn't survive without her and as her family refused to tell him where she was he would play his final card knowing that she would react.

****

The envelope shook in her hands as she attempted to peel it open with her uselessly trembling fingers. She'd tried to keep herself from reading it ever since her Amma had forwarded it onto her but she hadn't been able to, finally giving in, she tore it open. The neatly folded piece of paper scrunching up in the process as she fumbled to get it open, the tears in her eyes slightly obstructing her view.

Dear Khushi,

She wanted to skim through the words but she stopped herself, frowning at his awkward writing on the already ruined piece of paper.

I know jaan that I could have avoided this, we could have talked this out, found a solution but I didn't give you the opportunity, I wasn't their for you when you needed me the most. And it hurts me to know that I let such insecurities grow, that I could have in part fuelled them and for that I'm sorry, a million times. 

 She felt the tears gather up in her eyes and flow down her cheeks, she wiped her face with the back of her hand, sniffing as she tried to read on.

Life without you is meaningless, waking up to the empty side of your bed breaks me into a thousand pieces and I can't see myself bearing it no more. If only you had given me a chance to explain, if only I had tried to understand your pain. But this seems like our own vicious cycle and maybe this is what I deserve for everything I have done to you till date. Maybe this is your Devi Mayyas way of making me understand. 

She shook her head, willing his words to stop there on the paper, no it wasn't his fault, she just wanted him to be happy. That's it. She wanted him to have a complete family.

Jaan Sheetal was lying, she was fuelling your insecurities and I have no one to blame for them than myself."

Her eyes widened, she felt as if she had been struck by lightening, she jumped off of her bed, already fixing her dupatta to go back to him. Why hadn't she given him a chance to explain and now he was only blaming himself.

And now Khushi I don't know what to do, I don't know how to live without you anymore and I can't survive in the knowledge that we live in the same country and yet I can't find you. I fear that I'll be taken over by insanity if I stay so I'm leaving, on the 5th. I hope you see this and decide to come back, decide that I deserve another chance. But if you decide otherwise I will understand and I will live with the happiness that you were at least mine for even the slightest frame of time. 

She was on her feet immediately, she still had a day to go, she would find him, she would take back what was and always would be hers. She remembered the last time he had decided to leave, what that had meant, the stops and stutters of her heart, her fingers trailing down the glass, his fingers slipping out of her reach.

"Khushi I love you," his genuine cry for help. "No no no!" She exclaimed to herself, she couldn't let that happen all over again didn't trust the world with her Arnav. She would have to reach him before he left, she couldn't leave him alone with his own demons once more, he didn't deserve that.

Her heart pounded against her ribs as she ran with the fingers tight on the thin strap of her bag, she needed to get to him fast.

Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
silence, this train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back

****

He struggled for balance as her petite body collided into the strong planes of his, his arms automatically going around her slight frame, his face burying into her hair. She felt his fingers tighten on her skin as her feet lifted off of the ground, the tears escaping in hiccups.

"I'm so sorry," she heard him mumble into her hair as she reluctantly moved his head back, her hands cupping his face as she quickly shook her head in between the tears, "please Arnavji don't," she tried.

"No but I need to Khushi," she could see the tears glazing his own pools of chocolate brown and she placed her palm on his lips, "please Arnavji you don't need to say anything. I shouldn't have left you, I'm sor," she mumbled but he interrupted her, his lips in that place where they were almost touching hers.

"Shhh shhh," he hushed her then took her lips into his, breaking away he cupped her gentle face in his hands, "I'm sorry for putting you through this, no let me speak," he cut in as she attempted to speak once more,"for being so ignorant to your feelings," he placed his lips tenderly on her forehead, taking in the beautiful reality of the fact that she was back. "And I promise to make it up to you, I promise to make up for every single mistake of mines even if it takes my whole entire lifetime," he vowed looking into the depths of her drowning hazel eyes.

"And I promise to keep that promise of mines of never leaving you," she stated, for the first time taking his lips into hers, "I promise to never let anyone come between us ever again."

A beautiful magic love affair...

~
You are exactly
precisely and perfectly
what I waited for
- Tyler Knott Gregson
~

This was my first OS :D. I'm not usually an OS person so sorry if this isn't good. 
This isn't the way I want this track to work but separation could do the both of them some good and I want it to finally lead up to a proper redemption anyway, proper conversations, meaningful promises and this was just my attempt to portray that. Hope it's turned out well :) 

I know I haven't gone into detail about Shit-all but hey-ho I don't think I like her and I find it difficult to write about characters I don't like :P xx











0 comments:

Post a Comment